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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

God's final message to Creation: Sorry for the inconvenience.

[Douglas Adams]


Essentially, madness is like charity. It begins in the home.

He just picked me up and slapped me. Really hard. I cried and cried, but he wouldn't take any notice. Then he put a plastic tag round my wrist, cut my umbilical cord and put me in a cot. It was awful.

Of course crime is bound to be on the increase. If you're the kind of person who wants to start a satellite broadcasting channel, but you can't get a licence, crime is the obvious alternative.

[A Bit Of Fry & Laurie]

Anyway the wind blows...